Monday, August 27, 2007


If you read my blog you will be aware that we have been fighting the extension of hours for the flood lights at the equestrian centre, they light up a very rural area like a football stadium.
My so called friend is actually a parish councillor and had been told she could not get involved as she rents land from the ‘said’ farmer. Just before I went into hospital for my last op, she phoned me and said she had been told she could speak to both parties but would be unable to speak at the parish council meeting or vote’. She ‘told’ me she was going to try and work for a compromise!!!!!
Last Wednesday we got a call from the farmers wife saying they would be switching the lights on, on the Friday at 9.30pm for everyone to see.
Hubby said we had already seen the lights on, a couple of weeks earlier and nothing had changed since.
She said the Parish Councillors wanted too see! Fair enough!
Hubby contacted everyone he could but being a Bank Holiday weekend most where away, and most like us saw no point in looking again.
Friday came, hubby went out as did one other neighbour and came in 15 minutes later. At 10.30pm our so called friend and Parish Councillor, phoned and asked why we hadn’t been down at the Equestrian Centre, so hubby told her exactly what he had told her earlier in the week, we didn’t see the point as it had all been done before and nothing had changed! She went off at a tangent (such a drama queen) and hubby was on the phone to her for over ½ hour but she was not listening, did not take on board about the light evening, the moon, the leaves, said she had been working hard to help us reach a compromise etc etc, hubby asked her what compromise was she working too, as currently we had been making ALL the suggestions which where totally ignored. She did not say. Anyway having mentioned, ‘Moon, leaves and light evenings’ at least 4 times if not more. Hubby said she was not listening to us. She said she could see nothing wrong with the lights, Hubby said it wasn’t her that lived close to them! Through all of this hubby remained very calm and polite but did have to repeat himself a lot, she ‘the Parish Councillor’ put the phone down on hubby!!!as she realised she was not getting anywhere, not like she would have done if she had been speaking to me!!!
We phoned her the next day and she said she was going to have nothing to do with it any more and had passed it on to the Parish Council Chairman.
Hubby phoned him, he (Parish Chairman) then proceeded to tell hubby off for upsetting and being so rude to one of his councillors. Hubby put him right and said a Parish Councillor had to have better backbone than that as he was certain she would receive worse and that putting the phone down on a Parishener was not the done thing! We also said we had (past tense) been friends with this PC for 20 years and that she did tend to blow things up out of proportion and we would be speaking to her about what she had done.
Anyway to cut a long story short she has single handedly got the Parish Council against us, we are in a major dilemma and have called a meeting with everyone (Objectors) including the Council for Protection of Rural England, this week at our house.
I have been in no fit state to cope with all of this so have handed it all over to hubby, I did however phone my ‘so called friend’ and give her a piece of my mind, saying she had no right to do what she had done by lieing to the Chairperson, that she had choosen to get on board and not been invited, but at no stage asked us what we where prepared to compromise too. I told her if this went the wrong way for us because of what she had done I could never forgive her and that she should consider whether she makes a good Parish Councillor. Or whether she was in for just the glory!

She has always been a difficult friend, she is the lady with MS the one who I jump through hoops for, rush to her aid, etc etc. What has she ever done for me????????
I think the really sad thing is I shall not be upset to lose this so called one sided friendship!!! I have found it harder and harder to go and see her, everytime she moans and I come away more down than when I went.


RUTH said...

Oh this is becoming intolerable seems some people can't see the wood for the trees...or should that be the the light for the leaves!
I thought it was your Blogbirthday today and posted a cake on my blog....have I got it wrong?

Auntie Noo said...

Oh Libby I do really feel for you on this issue. I hope someone in the council takes is seriously and does something, it's just not on!... and as for your friend:- doesn't sound like she is one to me?

Allotment Lady said...

Oh dear me - it is horrid when things are in such a turmoil - they seem to take over your life - not nice especially when you are not 100%. I really do feel for your and send you lots of hugs and positive vibes. I think we all face such encounters at different times of our lives and I am sure that everyone who reads your blog today will take the time to leave a comment offering support so that you know you are not 'alone' in the matter.

As far as the so called 'friend' is concerned, I have read so many times how you have gone out of your way helping her and 'taxing' her her there and everwhere in times of need.

I had a friend like that for more than 20years, and mainly just stuck at it for her daughter and husband's sake - but it used to totally drain me.

Now that her daughter is grown and flown, and said friend behaved so badly a couple of years ago - I finally decided, like you, enough was enough. It was a difficult decision and not one made in anger - and do you know what - it was the best thing I did!

Sometimes you get to a time in your life when you have to do what is right for you - and if shedding 'one sided selfish friends' that are all 'take' and no 'give' is the right thing to do - for health and peace of mind.


And if it is your blog birthday then happy blogaday to you xxx

Don't let this business spoil your Bank Holiday Monday xxx

CG said...

happy Blogbirthday Libby and I think letting go of this selfish friend is the right thing to do. Sounds like a toxic friendship that ends up poisoning your life if you let it!